Post by Fourever Charmed on May 23, 2007 0:32:00 GMT -5
Oh reviews. They're one of the best parts of writing....for the writers. As a reader, they're a bit of a annoyance to write, because really, we're all just interested in the story, right?
Well, this is what happens when well rounded reviews pay off:
Oh, uh, whose well rounded review, by the way?
;D ;D ;D ;D
I cannot wait to get my autographed script, season one box set, Ghost Whisperer t-shirt, and Jennifer Love Hewitt headshot. *beams*
This was my review:
Well, this is what happens when well rounded reviews pay off:
Oh, uh, whose well rounded review, by the way?
;D ;D ;D ;D
I cannot wait to get my autographed script, season one box set, Ghost Whisperer t-shirt, and Jennifer Love Hewitt headshot. *beams*
This was my review:
Out of curiosity, did you read spoilers before you wrote this story? It sounds very much like a few spoilers I've come across as I've searched "Ghost Whisperer" boards and forums.
However, your story has a twist ending that I really like. Unfortunately this seems more like a series finale ending (which would be amazing, by the way), and I have a feeling that the show might be coming back for a third season, giving its popularity.
Either way, I really liked your take on this! It was a very pleasant surprise to see Melinda's grandmother helping to show her that she had to be the one to die in order to lead the lost souls into the light. That was extremely unique! I also liked the flashback sequence, including the one with Andrea (I hope something like that happens in the finale).
You could've used a beta reader, though. There were some punctuation mistakes. (i.e. "She looks at her lifeless body" it was me" should have a period at the end and the quotation should be connected to "it," not the periods.)
Also, I was a little disappointed that the story went so quickly. It was a very interesting piece, so it would've been nice if you had drawn it out more and allowed the characters to do more of the talking instead of things like, "Melinda arrives at the Mayors office and asks him to stop the ceremony. He asks her why he should do this." It's better to show them speaking with actual dialogue, instead of just telling us that they did speak. Showing and not telling is huge in writing and it almost always improves the quality of a story.
In the end, though, I think it was a great little piece and I really liked it! Good job!
However, your story has a twist ending that I really like. Unfortunately this seems more like a series finale ending (which would be amazing, by the way), and I have a feeling that the show might be coming back for a third season, giving its popularity.
Either way, I really liked your take on this! It was a very pleasant surprise to see Melinda's grandmother helping to show her that she had to be the one to die in order to lead the lost souls into the light. That was extremely unique! I also liked the flashback sequence, including the one with Andrea (I hope something like that happens in the finale).
You could've used a beta reader, though. There were some punctuation mistakes. (i.e. "She looks at her lifeless body" it was me" should have a period at the end and the quotation should be connected to "it," not the periods.)
Also, I was a little disappointed that the story went so quickly. It was a very interesting piece, so it would've been nice if you had drawn it out more and allowed the characters to do more of the talking instead of things like, "Melinda arrives at the Mayors office and asks him to stop the ceremony. He asks her why he should do this." It's better to show them speaking with actual dialogue, instead of just telling us that they did speak. Showing and not telling is huge in writing and it almost always improves the quality of a story.
In the end, though, I think it was a great little piece and I really liked it! Good job!
